Separating The Men From The Boys

Is the man the one who journeys from commitment to completion?

And is the boy the one who commits, but somewhere along the way loses the will, discipline, or courage to finish what he started?

These are uncomfortable questions, but perhaps they are questions worth asking in an age when commitment is often celebrated more than completion.

 

It is easy to say, “I will do it.” It is much harder to stay the course when the excitement has disappeared, the work has become tedious, the obstacles have multiplied, and nobody is watching.

That is where the difference begins to emerge.

 

The boy readily commits. He speaks confidently at the beginning. He may even have grand plans and impressive intentions. But once the journey becomes difficult, he begins looking for people to whom he can hand the work.

Suddenly, the instructions begin:

 

“You do this.”

“You take care of that.”

“Get someone else to handle this part.”

 

Delegation, of course, is not inherently a sign of weakness. Good leaders delegate. No individual can do everything, and effective leadership requires knowing when to empower others.

But there is a difference between delegating as a leader and delegating because you no longer want to get your hands dirty.

 

The real test is what happens when the task demands personal sacrifice.

Does he step forward?

Does he roll up his sleeves?

Does he do the difficult, unglamorous work?

Does he remain present when things go wrong?

Does he take responsibility when the outcome is not what he expected?

Or does he stand at a distance, issuing instructions while others carry the burden?

Perhaps this is where we should separate the men from the boys.

 

The man is not necessarily the person who does everything himself. Rather, he is the person who owns the responsibility from commitment to completion.

He may delegate tasks, but he does not delegate accountability.

He may ask others to help, but he does not disappear when the work becomes difficult.

He may lead from the front, from the side, or sometimes from behind, but he remains engaged with the mission.

He understands that leadership is not merely about telling people what to do. Leadership is about accepting responsibility for what must be done.

 

The boy, on the other hand, can become intoxicated by the power of giving instructions. He confuses authority with leadership and delegation with achievement.

He wants the credit without the sweat.

He wants the title without the responsibility.

He wants to be seen as the person in charge without experiencing what it takes to bring the assignment across the finish line.

And these days, we seem to be surrounded by far too many such examples.

 

We have become increasingly comfortable with starting things and increasingly impatient with finishing them. We celebrate announcements, launches, promises and declarations. But the real measure of character is rarely found at the beginning.

It is found at the end.

Anyone can make a commitment when the road looks easy.

Character reveals itself when the road becomes difficult.

 

The man says, “I started this, and I will see it through.”

Not because he believes he must personally perform every task, but because he understands that commitment creates an obligation.

If others are required to complete portions of the work, he makes sure they have what they need. If problems arise, he confronts them. If the plan fails, he adjusts. If the work becomes unpleasant, he does not abandon it.

 

He stays.

He works.

He finishes.

That is the distinction.

 

Perhaps maturity is not measured by how loudly we announce our intentions, how many people we command, or how impressive our position appears.

Perhaps it is measured by what we do after we have said yes.

 

The boy commits and then looks for someone else to carry the load.

The man commits and accepts the responsibility of carrying the work to completion.

And maybe the greatest challenge facing us today is not finding more people willing to commit.

It is finding more people willing to finish.

Because in the end, commitment is a promise.

Completion is the proof.

 

I’d like to leave you with this for your consideration.

A man stands still while holding a large, heavy package tightly in both arms. His posture shows the weight of the package, with his arms supporting it against his chest. He looks toward another person nearby, as if waiting for them to come over and take the package from him.

Nearby, another man is also holding a large, heavy package in both arms. Unlike the first man, he is preparing to move forward. His body is positioned slightly forward, with one foot ready to step ahead, suggesting that he is about to walk while carrying the heavy package.

 

Image = Silhouettes of a younger person and an older person facing each other while attempting to play brass instruments against a plain white background, with the younger person on the left holding a large tuba or similar horn over their shoulder and the older person on the right playing a trumpet or cornet, creating a visual contrast in age that suggests a playful ‘man versus boy’ comparison.

 

To learn more about me as an award winning  sight loss coach and advocate visit http://www.donnajodhan.com